Maybe it hit too close to home — there was a lot that was familiar in the way she “encouraged” her kids to practice their musical instruments for hours until they got it right. “There is a kind of utter certainty in her writing,” she said of Ms. Chua, “and that confidence goes so against the underlying grain of American parenting and child-rearing expertise that it immediately elicits a response that then suggests a kind of certainty on the other side that isn’t there, either.”. “I was the one that in a very overconfident immigrant way thought I knew exactly how to raise my kids. “On the other hand, they were highly effective.”, In interviews, she comes off as unresolved. There are same-sex parents, Orthodox Jewish parents, single parents, ex-hippie parents, investment banker parents, and military parents. Tiger parents push and pressure their children to attaining high levels of academic achievement or success in high-status extracurricular activities such as music, using authoritarian parenting methods. Amy Chua, author of “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother,” with her husband, Jed Rubenfeld, and daughters Lulu, left, and Sophia. None of these “Western” parents necessarily see eye to eye, so when I use the term “Western parents,” of course I’m not referring to all Western parents - just as “Chinese mother” doesn’t refer to all Chinese mothers. But it may be giving them too much credit to say they do it alone. Despite our squeamishness about cultural stereotypes, there are tons of studies out there showing marked and quantifiable differences between Chinese and Westerners when it comes to parenting. “In retrospect, these coaching suggestions seem a bit extreme,” she writes in the book after describing how she once threatened to burn her daughter’s stuffed animals if she did not play a piano composition perfectly. But while kids who grow up in this type of parental environment are most likely going to succeed, they’re paying for it through emotional strife, a new study finds. The Chinese Mother.
By signing up you are agreeing to our, Tedros on the Dangers of Politicizing the COVID-19 Pandemic, Sign up to receive the top stories you need to know now on politics, health and more, © 2020 TIME USA, LLC. When quizzed about whether they thought math skills were innate or learned, most of the white students believed it was a skill you were born with while the Asian-Americans were more likely to think it was learned, and acquired with effort. My husband was much more typical. For the Chinese at least, the so-called tiger mom is the typical mother — strict, controlling, and unsupportive. A largely Chinese-Americanconcept, the term draws parallels to strict parenting styles ostensibly enforced throughout ho… In one study of 50 Western American mothers and 48 Chinese immigrant mothers, almost 70% of the Western mothers said either that “stressing academic success is not good for children” or that “parents need to foster the idea that learning is fun.” By contrast, roughly 0% of the Chinese mothers felt the same way.
I’m also using the term “Western parents” loosely. I just need to give them freedom and choice.
Note that you once told your own hyper-successful Asian-American daughter that she was “garbage.” That you threatened to throw out your other daughter’s dollhouse and refused to let her go to the bathroom one evening until she mastered a difficult piano composition. Still, she said, her children got pancakes and trips to water parks because of their father, the son of parents more inclined to encourage self-discovery. By contrast, Western kids are more likely to participate in sports teams. In other words, it takes a village. By her account, her elder daughter, Sophia, complied, excelled and played piano at Carnegie Hall. The reaction to the book was particularly anguished among those who are products of extreme Asian parents. That leaves the work ethic, which Hsin and Xie found accounted for almost all of the grade gap between Asian-American and white students.
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